Irgendwie fühle ich mich heute beschissen?!

Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens it's not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens it's the will of Allah.
Catholicism: Shit happens because you're bad.
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
Hinduism: This shit happened before.
Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama.
TV Evangelism: Send money or shit will happen.
Atheism : No shit.
Jehovah's Witnesses: Knock knock, shit happens.
Hedonism : There's nothing like good shit happening.
Christian Science: Shit happens in your mind.
Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
Existentialism: What is shit anyway?
Stoicism: That shit doesn't bother me.
Rastafarianism: Let's smoke that shit.

Holzfigur von Stephan Balkenhol auf der Aussenalster.
https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stephan_Balkenhol

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